trobaire.org

a collection of literature from poets, bards, songwriters, and skalds in the SCA

Oliveres wordes to Patrick his brother upon the way to Golden Moone

Poem (Canso): 

Patrick Redd-Lokkes, thow me dreinte in dreede
For we oure wey weved and fonde fer:
Thow ne wrate the counseil, as I seede.
Hennes lyeth Hawkwod, on hundred miles fer,
But we two nolde rest with theyr wenches fer.
As oure bane is on this rewme corsed
Oure Brethehede de Fyr-Ass thinks us ded.

O, God me kithe that I ne troweste the,
Thine hondes leden the carte, as ne lerne,
Whan the meres in sleep ever mo lye.
For what me smerte in this felship sterne?
Fro joli Alveghast doth Fate me werne.
Alswa hath the Dame birefte me in woo,
For pileers on us shal crepen to sloo.

So, worthy gyde! Let us persevere some,
And preye to arryve ere the revels ceyse,
Or at leest, ere beestes us overcome.
Hens-forth I shal werke and forgo all preyse,
Whan ryde we ner or fer, or ony weyse.
I nyl bere the as warden, it is sothe,
Oon ape wolde falle ageyn to this, in trothe!

Translation: 

Red-headed Patrick, you're scaring me so bad I've wet my pants.
Since we're definitely lost and we're both freaking out:
You didn't write down the directions properly like I told you to.
Hawkwood has got to be at least a hundred miles away,
But we're not going to have time to party with their hot babes.
And while we'll meet our doom on this stupid, god-forsaken road
Our Sacred Brotherhood of Flaming Jackasses will think that we're dead.

O, how God warned me not to trust you!
So you can push our car with those hands that can't write properly,
Once we run out of gas (when our horses fall down to die).
Why was I cursed to have such god-forsaken company?
It's bad enough that Fate keeps me from returning to cheery Elvegast,
But beyond that, She's abandoned me in my troubles,
And I just know bandits are sneaking up, ready to kill us.

So, you wonderful navigator! Let's try and keep going for a bit,
And hope to God we make it to the event before it ends,
Or at least get there before any wild animals catch up with us.
From here on out, I'll do all the work and shut my mouth,
No matter where we go, whether it be across the kingdom or down the street.
I don't want you to have any control over my destiny, really,
Because only a complete idiot would fall for this twice, I swear.